Everything becomes so hard

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Everything become so complicated

Trusting people is becoming hard

Keeping my grades up is becoming hard

Feeling pretty is becoming hard

Thinking happy thoughts is becoming hard

Doing work is becoming hard

Maintaining a friendship is becoming hard

Doing everything is becoming hard and I don’t like it

or is it just my pessimist thoughts? Why should everything turn out like this? how outrageous -_-

Are we just playing friends?

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Friends? that one sentences that make me wonder and realize. do i have any true friends?

as i see nowadays friend is just like making friends because there is benefit or interest if just once lost interest. we’re also lost friendship anyway. is this kind of friendship nowadays?

since elementary school until high school, i don’t really care about friend whether i have many or not. i just let it be. i can get along with someone i don’t know before. Man that was a great moment.

but now since i step university or college, i like to choose friends. maybe that’s just naturally. as i know we’re making friends to take advantage, merit, if there is not benefit anymore. they just go away, they don’t even say “Hi” or “Hello” to you anymore. even if we meet each other sometimes they just keep pretending we’ve never met before. from stranger to stranger. that’s way too funny.

sometimes i think it’s better if from the start i don’t get along with them, if we already get along with them, the closer they are to you, the greater the pain when some of them leave you hanging, leave you behind and even don’t try to help you.  it’s kind of scary when something suddenly changes. especially when someone we know become somebody that we used to know.

that moment when they studied with us together, when they hang around with us, sharing each other, or even singing and playing together. i hate feeling when i admit someone’s as a friend but they don’t. it’s like one hand clapping.

recently i have this in mind ; ” Our Relationship aren’t just playing friends, right?” because i don’t want to be just playing friends. 

friends is not like a game when you want to play it, you come and then when suddenly you get bored, you just go away whenever you want.

i doubt i have any true friends, but who knows? time passed by i believe that i will find some, especially when siting around with them always remind with Allah. that’s some kind of relief and blessing.

You don’t need to make 100 friends. Just make real friends that you care about 100 times as much, Even if you only have one, so long as they’re a friend you really care about.

and accidentally i find this quote from Joquesse Eugenia and really fit my post haha :D

I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations. If we don’t vibrate on the same frequency there’s just no reason for us to waste our time. I’d rather have no one and wait for substance than to not feel someone and fake the funk.

Smiling in pain

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Lately i feel so messed up inside, i didn’t come to my campus happily. my friend felt so anxious. they said; what the hell is wrong with you, today? you don’t seem like usual, where the hell is your cheerful character going? but i said that i don’t want to talk about it . to tell them the truth actually i do, but i’m afraid of their reaction. i’m afraid that you will never see me as an equal again, i’m afraid of the pity in your eyes when you realize how screwed up i’am and sometimes i like wondering and mumbling inside. “damn why should they care? playing care, huh? with or without me there is no big difference, right?”

just suddenly my negative thoughts take over my mind, i didn’t know why but i wish i can escape from my feelings and thoughts. man it was just so hard, i feel like i’ve died inside. all of sudden i changed, the boy that once cared way too much about everyone and everything  no longer cared at all.

i guess all of us ever feel this feeling, Feels like your heart is going to burst anytime, but still no one seems to understand not at all. when your heart is crying loudly, trying hard to tell people how much you are hurting inside but you can’t, you just can’t. so in the end all we can do is smiling in pain …

something i hate

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the reallity sure is harsh, for some reason i hate how things work like you know.

i just hate when people find it easier to done but they choose the harder one, okay maybe i’m stupid but what the hell is this, are they more stupid than me i don’t want to be dragged into their stupidness, they understand what they are doing is wrong but still they do it without regret, okay there is no shame doing wrong but you know shame is choose to stay wrong. and i hate it when someone claim that they do ten even though i know they just do one, i hate it when someone force me to do something troublesome and unwanted, and for remind us all the time about what they have given or done something good to us and comes up with an argument man “you really don’t appreciate what i’ve done to you last time, you are the worst.”

man beats me, i just feel like what the …. so you don’t do it sincerely? guess i can’t expect too much on anyone like this. so that’s why sometimes i hate nice people, it doesn’t mean like that. well yeah how to put it ummm …..

in my mind i often think like this for some reason i hate being helped, i hate being treated nicely. but when it comes to reality whenever someone helped me, i just can’t reject it then i feel like i owe to this guy.

i just can’t forget someone’s kindness so easily, the truth that i don’t want to owe anyone anything, i hate being in debt, i don’t know why but i do hate,  i just hate.

and i hate umm what they often call it a friend. but sometimes when it comes to hard situation they just sacrifice their friends like it’s nothing. you know? if you watcch naruto you are sure famous with this word “those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum”  it’s just like “herbivores” must abandon their comrades to avoid predators. some kind of joke right? but this is reality. we can’t deny it, jeez world sure is cruel but for some people who have good position, and have much money so they can do whatever they want with that money this world it’s like heaven but the opposite goes to believers, they think this world is a prison yet i think so.

this world is a prison, even though i’m not that pure and spiritual yet i admire it.

those who enjoy “youth” fit any event or their surroundings to their belief system of “youth” for self-confirmation. For example, those who enjoy “youth” believe lies, secrets, sins and failures are simply the beginning of what makes “youth” interesting. and i just imply that by following “youth”, one ignores the consequences of their actions. 

really i don’t know what i’ve written, how come it ended up like this, so out of topic and still my english is such a mess right? hahaha

i don’t know if u guys get an idea about what i’m talking and mumbling :3

but still, for many things i hate but also there is something i like such as when life gets hard i try to write :D

Cara Install BBM untuk Android Gingerbread

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BBM FOR ANDROID GINGERBREAD 2014 100% WORK GUARANTEE

setelah kemaren saya telah mempost tentang BBM yang tidak compatible untuk android Gingerbread atau Armv6, tapi sekarang seperti yang orang bilang semua akan indah pada waktunya. dan inilah saatnya BBM telah hadir dan bisa diinstall untuk android Gingerbread Armv6.

tanpa memperpanjang mukodimah langsung saja berikut cara install BBM untuk android gingerbread terbaru 2014 :D

Download semua file diatas sebelum melanjutkan ke tahap berikutnya

  1. Install BBM APK dan TITANIUMBACKUP PRO seperti biasanya
  2. Add New folder on sdcard, Nama foldernya ‘TitaniumBackup’ Jika sudah ada setelah install titaniumbackup pro tidak usah dibuat lagi
  3. Copy semua file yang ada di BBM Backup ke folder Titaniumbackup yang telah kita buat tadi (Letaknya di sdcard)
  4. Buka Applikasi TitaniumBackupPro lalu cari applikasi BBM, kemudian klik restore
  5. jika tulisan RESTORE belum ada, berarti masih ada masalah saat memindahkan file BBM backup ke folder TitaniumBackup. (BBM Backup yang berbentuk ZIP silahkan di extract terlebih dahulu lalu dipindahkan)
  6. setelah semuanya berhasil tinggal klik restore dan tunggu sampai proses restore selesai
  7. jika sudah selesai silahkan dicoba buka BBMnya
  8. Yuhuu, Well done buddy

NOTE: HH anda diharuskan sudah di root terlebih dahulu, untuk cara root, bisa disimak di tutorial berikut. atau buat yang lain bisa di googling ya banyak kok yang ngejelasin cara root buat masing-masing HH.

Selamat mencoba dan semoga berhasil :))

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Tested by Me; Samsung GT-S6102 (Galaxy  Young Duos)

Being Kind to others

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We ever wonder about, how must we become a nice and kind to people if the reality they don’t, is it just wasting our time to people who doesn’t understand what we call kindness? or maybe some of us already be nice and kind to others but wait… sometimes world is so cruel. people that we expect to be nice to us sometimes just turn to become a heartless bastard. yeah like they’ve forgotten what we have done to them, the way they treat us different with the way we treat them, and in the end we just regret and say that; why yesterday i helped him/her or anything blablabla ~ and continue babbling “dammit that was all just for nothing, pointless, what a waste of time.”

that’s the problem, we don’t really understand what kindness trully is. so from now on let’s keep this in mind and no need to expect and wish too much if we’ve done, helped, and been kind to others so they will do the same things to us. if someday they pay back our kindness assume that it’s just bonus for us. so nobody get hurt.

okay honestly it is quite hard for me maybe for all of us to implement that in real life, sometimes it’s natural for us to be treated same as the way we treat them (Kindness).

Being good and kind to people not because we want them to treat us good back, but because Allah is kind and He likes kindness.

called her “woman” and Dismissed her views

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You can’t handle a 
Woman who can hold a cigarette 
Better than you

You can’t handle a 
Woman who can race a car 
Faster than you

You laugh at her fight for freedom
And then you wonder why 
Your mother refuses to let you enter 
The heaven that is 
Beneath her holy feet.

You never allowed her to stand on them and ask for her dues
You called her “woman” and 
Dismissed her views

You will forever be standing at 
The gates,
She will forever be guarding 
The gates

  Heaven Beneath Her Feet, Aishah Malak