I’m not even making any sense

Sometimes i just feel Sad, happy, confused, a bit numb… detached about anything.

I’m not even making any sense.

I just… I want to dwell as much as i want, and just want to feel like disappear and not doing anyhing. thinking, or maybe feeling something,  Just be.

Maybe lie down somewhere and just stargaze. Or sit at a quiet beach and watch the waves flirt with the shoreline. or maybe go to some city, somewhere nobody knows me and i can feel freely.

I’m just tired of always being in control but at the same time when I am faced with things beyond my control, I automatically tell myself to calm down and so I can figure things out. Never willing to relinquish control.

I hate the truth about me that the mind always wins ! Overprotective, it forgets that sometimes  heart just wants to be free to feel everything, even the pain.